Festival fashion faux pas

Daft over-the-knee socks to go under your wellies: check. Skimpy, bum-baring denim shorts: check. Oversized sunglasses: check.  Oompa Loompa orange tan: check.

Welcome to the world of foolish festival fashions where style and sense collide as a fashion-fuelled generation attempt to battle Britain’s inevitably bad elements while still looking uber-cool.

There’s no getting round it, wellies never have and never will be fashionable. You can paint them with as many patterns, swirls and animal prints in as many colours as you like but they just ain’t cool. Fact.

Throw a rain coat into the equation and you’re well on your way to becoming a crumpled pair of bell bottoms lost somewhere deep in the second-hand fashion pile that’s headed straight for the charity shop.

That is unless of course you’re headed to a festival, when that little thing called practicality that usually sends fashionistas into a frenzy suddenly comes into play.

Wading through the inevitable moshpit of mud in six inch stilettos or braving the rain in a slinky jumpsuit is just plain stupid, so how exactly are you supposed to maintain your fashion-forward style at a festival?

Well I must have missed the memo that stamped the crazy look of combining wellies, knee-high socks, denim hotpants and a perma-tan as cool, and to be honest, while I’m no Anna Wintour, I’m kind of glad.

While many girls managed to pull of the look with a certain panache, I would feel nothing short of an uncomfortable fool waddling round in wellies and skimpy shorts.

The order of the weekend for most men wasn’t much better because the sun shone and seemed to simultaneously order them all to whip off their shirts and parade about like testosterone-fuelled peacocks flexing their over-worked pecks.

Just for fun

Boring we may have been but sat in my skinny jeans next to my t-shirt clad husband, some of the fashions the festival offered provided almost as much entertainment as the acts on stage, and I look forward to seeing what that memo I won’t be sent brings next year.

(Photos courtesy of Press Association)

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10 thoughts on “Festival fashion faux pas

      • Sunglasses at night are only a trend at festivals because the people wearing them don’t want everyone else to see how huge (and generally messed up) their pupils/eyes are.

        Or they’re idiots who think its cool. The majority is the first, though. Or both.

  1. Hehe! Great post! Yup, I’m also more the skinny jeans, sneakers and t-shirt kind of festival girl… But always love gaping at the interesting outfits parading past 🙂

  2. I used to live in East Anglia back in the ’70s, and in the dead heat of summer London wasn’t much different even back then. As the temperatures would climb, the attire would grow more daring. I recall seeing one young woman by the fountain at Trafalgar Square during a particularly hot day in ’76 wearing an unbuttoned vest with absolutely nothing beneath.

    I guess you could say that she had no visible means of support.

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist that one. But it is a true story.

  3. I doubt wellies and shorts are ever good, but when you’re 18 you can get away with anything (if everyone else is wearing it). but England is never THAT warm to merit this combo, is it???? oh crap, I think this reasoning means I’m just not down with the kids anymore….

  4. This is so true! Even in less recent times. I remember going to Lollapolooza during the Grunge days and people were wearing flannel and massive work boots in 90 degree F (32 degree C) weather! Thanks for an informative and funny post. Also, thank you for stopping by Travel Oops and liking the photo of the cathedral in Kiev!

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